So, about that boy from Mississippi? Things have progressed to the point where we're planning on having a Serious Talk.

We met up again last week. This time there was a much emphasis on on talking as their was on sex. I even made him a little something to eat. He was deeply impressed by the extant of my booze collection. We must have tasted at least eight different alcohols as we exciting discussed cocktails.

Afterwards he confessed that he was afraid he was falling in love with me. I said I was a little, too, but I didn't see that as a problem. Friday night he happened to be off work and we texted extensively, sharing songs and such.

Then Saturday night rolled around, time for monthly cocktails. I assumed he'd be at work (he bartends in Naperhell) so I didn't invite him, but when he revealed he was free, I insisted he come. I'm not sure why he was hesitant; we didn't really have a chance to discuss that.

I was a little concerned. I tend to be very flirty on these nights and I wasn't sure how he would take that. Also, with Posh Rob back for the first time in ages, there was a real risk that things would turn porny later. He end up spending most of the evening on the porch chatting with a fellow Mississippian so there was no real chance for us to talk.

Fast forward to the end of the evening. The lovely Sikh couple who always arrive late announce they're leaving so it's just me, him, and my pal Mauri on the daybed. Mauri surprises me by announcing he's staying and it soon becomes obvious to me where things are headed.

Now I'm in a bind. I really just want him there, but I don't feel right just telling Mauri to leave. After all, me and MI are just having fun, right? Nothing serious here. So in short order we're all in my bed naked.

I've been through what happened next so many times in my head that I really don't want to hash it all out again (though I'll have to tomorrow), but essentially I had an unexpected attack of jealousy. I got up to pee and remembered there was food out and candles burning, so I went upstairs to see to them. When I got back, they were really going at it and I suddenly felt completely superfluous.

I went upstairs to try to center myself. When I came back down, they were fucking. Now I *really* felt unwanted. In the end, I asked them to leave my bed and when they simply moved to the guest room, I went up and effectively chased them out.

Mauri was very conciliatory. He tried to get me to talk but I was just too upset. The other guy didn't say a word, which hurt as much as anything else, and took Mauri back to his place. I tried to sleep but could barely manage a fitful hour or two before I woke up again.

Finally around noon Mauri reached out and we talked things through briefly. "I'm sorry we didn't notice you weren't having fun." He recognised that he put me in an awkward position. "You can always tell me 'Hey, not this guy'." I know that, but I was trying not to come off as controlling in the moment.

Knowing he was alone, I reached out to the guy. He was very apologetic. Of course he hadn't meant to hurt me. But I still look at his choices and scratch my head. He had so many opportunities to reach out and check in with me and he didn't avail himself of any of them. He just did whatever required the least effort in the moment.

I had a good talk with my best Chilean friend, who suggested that he may just be really conflict avoidant. Together we worked out a game plan for working through things. "Extend him some grace," he told me, and that's what I'll attempt to do. Everyone with me luck